Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
