I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
