last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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