i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
