so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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