why didn't you poke me back
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
