someone threw a dead crab at me
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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