i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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