First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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