did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
