Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize