if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
