we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I am available for nakedness
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
