dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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