have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
