I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We had sex on a dog bed..
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
