This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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