We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
