Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
