All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
