HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize