I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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