so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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