you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She's the barista slut.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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