what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
