Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
