Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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