No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
