So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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