well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize