Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
