Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
