wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
