there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
