so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
