This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
