4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
