oh god the rape fog is back!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
