so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
