dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
