P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
