I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
