I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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