at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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