Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
