in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
