First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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