I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
