oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize