trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Ladies don't puke and tell
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
