Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize