Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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