The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
