I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
