I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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