Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
