We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
