1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize