i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Randomize
