I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize