the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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