butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
