alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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