so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
