I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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