May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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