If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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