sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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