I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
