508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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