I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
