god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
